Sami’s Blog: Handbag Smug

I am not smug when it comes to many things in my life but I am secretly proud of something I feel is a weapon in my life: my handbag. I know my tote holds the remedy to just about any superficial (also super important) problems life can throw at us. I may not be a great cook or driver, but I am certainly a gold- Olympic-medal worthy handbag carrier. You see its contents are complex and curious and capable of fixing any medical or mind emergency.

It is a tote of wonder. I have tissues, wet wipes, band aides, cough lollies, Panadol and Nurofen (smug), Armour Force and Vicks VapoRub. I have wipes to clean reading glasses, cutlery (including chopsticks), headphones, toy cars, fidget spinners, a pack of cards and deodorant. I have Fredo Frogs, keys to unlock a myriad of doors, safety pins, and glasses to help me read and glasses to shield the sun. That is in only one side compartment. I told you: my handbag game is very good. The other side of my bag has blush, lipstick, highlighter, foundation, a mirror, spare pens, stick it notes, serviettes, and a book. I have a library card, a credit card, a medicare card and 24 different coffee loyalty cards.

The following are my secret tools that elevate my hand bag from humbug to extraordinary. I have a tape measure. A professional big one. I use it all the time and whenever I have the opportunity to whip it out I do so loudly and proudly telling anyone who will listen that yes I indeed am prepared with a tape measure that I keep tucked away in my amazing hand bag. I have a Stanley knife. I have chilli flakes for food. This little cylinder of spicy goodness is used surprisingly often. I have never bragged about my bag before but since turning 50 I really do have fewer cares to give.

The injustice of my treasure trove is that my kids do not realise how lucky they are with their mum and her incredible handbag. They think I am a hording lunatic with a bunch of mess in her bag she has not cleaned out for years. Well, let me tell you they are wrong and my superpower in life is my bag. I walk through the Plaza feeling very smug indeed that I am prepared for any emergency. It must be exactly how Superman feels knowing those around him are safe.